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Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Post 75.

Handicap again.
No idea if I was able to tune in on someone else if it was the other way around and I was the healthy one. If it was a loved one, I hope so.
Empathy is a female feature. That should help me. A mother has to understand the needs of her young, whether they are hungry, cold, or too hot. It is simply functional. Alpha males can also possess this characteristic; a good leader is able to sense what goes on in the gang. But they don’t walk around by the dozen. Alpha females neither, by the way. 

A handicap aggravates conflicts. I suppose my greatest problem is not the disease itself, I am surrounded by problems like everyone else. Being crippled and dependent deprives me from the right to address these problems like I would like to. It is a struggle for equality; I don’t want to be the same. I am not the same. I want equal rights. I don’t wish to have to make double, or triple effort for everything. I already have the disease to deal with. That is the meaning of a handicap.

Being ill prevents me from being the mother I would like to be, the professional I worked my whole life to be. I don’t need other people to add to this. And yet, that happens. Revalidation doesn’t mean you get help to escape processes everybody is subjected to. You have to learn to cope with it and the illness at the same time.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Post 74.

Not handy, definitely. For example:
Conversation. A speech disorder of some kind can cause people to think that you are interrupting them, while you are trying to finish the sentence they were talking through. Or: at some point you will have to start speaking, otherwise you’ll never get to say a word. Anyway, you take too long.

Wheelchair. Most interactions will take place high above your head, between people standing face to face. You will have to break your neck attempting to take part.
You are lucky, if you are not placed front outwards. Mostly it is advisory to start thinking about something else to do.

Socializing. I have experienced situations where someone simply grabbed the wheelchair from behind to put it aside when it was in the way. They placed it facing the wall, as if it was empty. But I was sitting in it. I was on my way somewhere and needed to pause for a short while.
Or: someone with the sincere intention to help, would address your companion, because they think they know better, can do better, whatever.
You hear the quarrel unfold somewhere at the rear, nobody asks you. You haven’t even seen the person.

Diminished sight, speech, hearing, mobility will make people think you are retarded, even if they have to ask you to whom they could talk instead.
They make sure to use simple language, repeat, talk loud.

But sometimes you will end up in an oasis of revalidating consideration. Encounter someone, who picks a chair to sit at your height, talks naturally about interesting things, conducts a dialog. And most people just don’t know how to approach a disabled person and don’t like to be confronted with it.