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Saturday, October 28, 2017

Hermaphrodites.
It would be good to be like snails.
If two persons meet and like each other,
they decide together who will be the boy and who will be the girl. All according to the need of the situation.

I like the idea.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Decomposition.
I feel erased. Like in an old family photograph where one figure is slowly fading away. This disease consumes every space, there is almost no room for me. ‘I am not MS, I have MS.’ Often said; now I know what it means.

My vision is troubled, speech is not always clear, handwriting unrecognizable (if I can hold a pen), in my room there is a lift to transfer me from bed to wheelchair and back.

I am not the mother I’d like to be, cannot be a professional anymore. It could be worse. It’s bad enough and I didn’t hit the bottom yet.

Let me find something positive to think and do about.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Crossroads.
I’m at a crossroads. Thinking of the lives I haven’t lived. Which way to go? 
I believe in self-determination.

Amongst all inhibitions my disease lays on me, I feel free. What lies ahead of me, whether it is five minutes, or twenty years; I have a choice. With this choice I feel rich.

Choose the right direction. Choose meaning, altruism, content, love.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Malicious.
Being malicious is a reaction to how life is (in other words other people are) treating you.

It takes enormous strength, maybe faith, in any case self-control, to remain benevolent in all circumstances.

But you have your whole life to practise.